Even just a couple inches over is enough to remind me. Or just a separation between them instead of them touching. Or turn them backwards. Though, this only works if it’s relatively uncommon for you to do it. And if you live in a household that does indeed take their shoes off, some don’t. But it’s a surprisingly effective reminder if all that.
I use my hands to kind of do the same thing. It’s probably the behaviour they modeled Monk’s “hand thing” after. It still helps even if I’m searching using my memory and spatial awareness to recall and search through something I am not currently looking at. Somehow, narrowing the scope physically with my hands helps. It’s probably a muscle memory or proprioception thing.
For example, if I want to find something to eat in the fridge. I generally won’t be able to think of anything by just opening the fridge and looking through it. Unless there is something super obvious like a leftover pizza box or something else impossible to miss like that. Just trying to search by looking at each shelf only increases the odds of finding something by like 5%. But when I use my hand and slowly move it down the shelves, I can somehow think more clearly about what is on each shelf than I could without using my hand. And, as I mentioned, it also works even if I am no longer looking in the fridge. I can do it with the door closed and still more clearly recall what was on each shelf.
It also helps when scanning through my whole house looking for something, with and without currently having eyes on it. Like scanning through the whole house room by room while still sitting at my computer, I do a much better job if I am pointing my hand at the place I am thinking about as I scan.
I should probably mention I am Autistic, my spatial awareness and proprioception are two areas I have seemed to benefit. But it’s very easy to get confused or distracted if I have too much information at once. So that is mostly what is going on. I can’t just imagine that I am pointing at something in my imagination to gain the benefit, I have to be literally, physically pointing. Although I can translocate, like not be at my house or fridge and still scan my house or fridge by pointing relatively where each thing would be if they were there.
It’s not limited in scope as far as I can tell. Though it is kind of limited in resolution. The bigger the area I am scanning, the less detail I can recall about it when I am not there, or “looking through walls”. But when I am there, I can go as fine grained as the search demands, just takes longer.
One thing to keep in mind, just to get your expectations right. Kids are more neuroplastic than us, and it takes kids about 5 years of practicing every day to get fluent at their first language. They are learning a few more things for the first time during that too. But you can expect it to take about as many practice hours. So if you only practice 1 hour a week, it’s gonna be a long time. But also, you don’t need to hit the bar of “fluent” to solve your problem. Where kids are at after 1 year is very serviceable for it instead being a second language. If you plan to move to an english speaking country, that would be plenty to get by in your day to day life while you all of a sudden start also spending every day practicing.
Learning to read and interpret a new language is more than 10 times easier than learning to speak it. Even just writing in it, where you have all the time in the world to compose each sentence is going to take alot of practice to get good at. For speaking, you have to be quick enough to form full sentences in seconds, at a time where it’s not the main thought process going on in your head.
When my siblings and I were kids, our parents considered themselves christian and we went to church. But as we grew up, we all stopped believing, and we convinced our parents to stop too. I don’t generally want to convince most religious people to stop, but we were kids at the time and didn’t really know the ramifications of disillusioning our parents. If religious people can believe in “heaven”(or equivalent) and think they are going there, it’s a really nice thought that I don’t want to take away from them. But people that use religion to hurt people, yeah I kind of want to take it away from them. I guess like anything else in life, if you are using it to be nice and constructive, cool. If you are using it to hurt people, take it away.
The real version of death kind of sucks. It honestly kind of physically hurts/feels bad to even think about ceasing to exist permanently. I feel like that has always been the true purpose and main point of religion. Pretending death is absolutely anything else other than what it really is. I don’t want to take that aspect away from anyone.
Well, you got the answers you were looking for, here is a different answer. To your other implied question, how to not worry about dust getting in other holes.
Main thing is to develop positive air pressure. You want more powered intake than powered exhaust.
Use fans for all your filtered air intakes, ignore powered air exhaust, run it at lower fan speeds if you can. Air will get out fine. If you force the air in where you want it to go in, dust will only go into the easily removable filters, it won’t be on your components. Any extra hole in the case will just be exhausting the already filtered air. Then just remember to actually check and clean your filters. That’s the hard part. But if you clean them when they need to be cleaned, you will never have to actually clean the inside or the fans or components or anything else, just the filters.
That does all sound pretty normal/common. No worries on making any solid plans to drop the friends you don’t feel close to, it will happen naturally over time. Just focus on the ones you want to keep, make sure you are putting energy into those relationships.
Make sure that “accelerated payments” are at least an option for your mortgage/financing. So that if you do find in the future that you can spare a bit of cash, you can always pay extra on the house. Clearing it sooner saves a pretty insane amount of money.
In that same vein, try not to carry a balance on any credit cards. Pay them off fully every month. Credit card debt is easy to accidentally carry, and it’s crazy expensive. Always do the math on what your various sources of debt are actually costing you, and pay off the worst ones most aggressively.
And after all that, the next most important thing is to make sure you are enjoying life. It’s easy to get too wrapped up in things that feel more important than having a good time. But all the important stuff has a purpose, and the purpose is to increase your comfort, it can’t do that if you don’t let it. Find a balance that feels right for you.
Also, make sure you can talk to your wife, and hopefully the rest of your family about this sort of stuff too. Gain the perspective of as many people as possible, without having to gain it first hand yourself. Life is big, we are each of us small. But together, we can add up to be pretty big too.
Yeah, it’s unfortunate that most of the benefits of exercise aren’t immediate and obvious. Makes it much harder to form the habit. But it has pervasive and far reaching benefits to almost every aspect of life, it would be weird how helpful it is if it wasn’t basically what we were pretty much “designed” to do.
Exercise games helped me to form the habit, basically gave something immediate and obvious to focus on, while I built up the habit. Then the important part was to then transition to a more stable long term exercise style, because eventually the game will get stale and lose it’s motivational value.
Specifically I used ring fit and VR games to get started, and then transitioned to gps games on my phone for outdoor exercise. Then storyline based walking/running games. I still have a hard time with going to a gym, but that is mostly social anxiety and fear of failure. I do know it can be a really good option if I can get over the initial hump, just haven’t managed. I’m thinking maybe hiring a trainer will probably help with that. I can usually get over my hurdles if someone else is relying on me, and a trainer would also help me make sure I’m not doing anything wrong. I know the strangers/future friends at a gym would also do that, but turns out I haven’t been able to talk myself across that line yet, lol.
But yeah, enough about that. Mostly just keep in mind there is likely a path to get where you want, you might just have to get creative to find it.
At some point yes. The lack of tackling men’s issues is not due to a lack of representation. Roles like this are specifically about opinions that are not being heard or represented before the creation of the role. Once the need for other roles presents itself, those roles will be created as well. Well… after the need has presented itself for so long that it has gained enough traction to actually have a chance of the idea surviving the proposal. And then only a few more short decades.
It’s similar, though not the same, to specifically increasing diversity on purpose in business. The counter argument that hiring “the best candidate blindly” would be a better strategy misses that diversity adds it’s own value. The person who is almost as qualified, but brings a background not currently represented in the company does indeed bring more value. It is understandably seen as inherently unfair, but it wouldn’t be so valuable if we weren’t coming from such a staggering lack of diversity. So the fix to historical unfairness, is a bit more unfairness but in the other direction. If it works, there will be no reason to focus on it eventually. It will just be normal.
You can tell your therapist that you’d prefer to leave medication to a last resort whenever possible. Even in cases where medication is very helpful, there are other options.