“Complicated descriptions”? Is there a lamp on one side, or a closet door? Just use that as a frame of reference, I wouldn’t call that a complicated description. Or, if you usually have the same bigs-poon, little-spoon orientation, you can describe which shoulder you’re laying on. But I still think using features of the room is the simplest way. “I’m laying on the closet side.”
In addition, be sure to supplement their diet with the occasional human leg