Another favorite of mine from him is:

I’m dangerous, like a fire in a nursing home

I’m the Wayne Gretzky of sexual stuff.
I’m the Hulk Hogan of slamming muff.
I’m the Indiana Jones of exploring crotch.
I’m the Shakespeare of enormous cock.
I’m the Helen Keller of having sex.
No, wait … that’s a bad example.

Why did my penis cross the road?
To get to the other ….
Vagina (what) … vagina (what) …
I want to have sex with your vagina (uhh)
Vagina (what) … vagina (what) …
E=MC Vagina

I’ve got a present for you right here.
Actually, it’s not a present …
It’s my penis and I like to call it The Spear
Cause spears are long and hard, just like my penis!