If they block you, you never have to hear them again. That sounds like a win for you in my book!

Getting the last word in an argument isn’t a victory.

Take a deep breath. In these 5 seconds you might feel very upset at this user, and if it’s something that really triggers you it might ruin your next 5 minutes or 5 hours.

In 5 days, will you really care about whatever this user had to say that got you upset? Not really right? Let alone in your next 5 weeks, months or years, this will fade to nothing but a mere trifling squabble. You have better things in life to think and be excited about and worse things in life to worry over.

My advice for something you recognize making you irrationally upset, is try to transport the “How you feel about it in 5 days” into your present mindset so that will give you better perspective.

In this specific case, I’d say he admitted defeat by blocking you.

Someone who withdraws from a discussion and blocks a person didn’t “win”, they ran, and deserve to be ignored.

Blocking someone so they can’t counter your point doesn’t mean you win an argument.

Also, internet shit isn’t worth worrying about to this extent. Just try to move on and take comfort in the fact that the other person clearly cared about that exchange WAY more than you do.

This guy S_20xxxxxxx has a holier than thou comment ranting about the “assholes from reddit being pieces of shit on lemmy”, ironically, on a thread about people being aggressive on lemmy.

A few hours later, he replies to some comments of mine - every single one of them makes him sound more unhinged than the last.

I went through his comment history and his comments swing between these two extremes of being preachy and being unhinged. I decided that blocking him and moving on was better for my sanity than continuing to engage.

There’s no point in engaging with such people, do what’s best for you, and move on. Cheers! :)

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One thing to consider: you feel like not being able to reply means the other person “won.” You didn’t mention the context of the discussion, but I find that approaching most conversations like that (win/lose), you’re already too involved. Conversations, debates, etc. are ways we exchange thoughts and ideas. Winning vs losing implies you think you are right and the other person is wrong. If that’s the case, why bother with the convo at all?

The likelihood that you will convince the other pererson they are wrong is very low, especially when you approach it thinking they are wrong. Instead, approach it trying to learn the ins and outs of their argument. Ask questions that make the person really think about their position. People change their own minds. You can’t force them or do it for them.

Very relatable yet very brave to talk to the „local pub“ about such a private matter.

I have circles I discuss such matters with:

1. wife, closest friends, therapist - matters that make me feel very triggered because they know how to get me down
2. friends, closed or niche chat rooms to talk about my stuff in general. Often not with clearname but still somewhat private matters
3. open spaces (lemmy, reddit, forums). Stuff that does not trigger me so as to not spiral out of control if a troll finds me there

Coming to the problem:

Having someone put in the last word and blocking you is actually very petty and a last resort if someone got triggered themselves. I‘d say it is dumb but I have to say I did so myself if someone was very rude.

Try to think of it like this:

• this person does not know you so their judgement does not concern you
• if they said mean things and blocked they‘re probably very young and didn’t know how to help themselves
• thinking in winning and losing is not helpful at all. You should instead try to learn and help others to learn. Its not important who has done „better“ in a discussion

Btw getting triggered normally is evidence that something has hurt you in the past and not the current interaction is hurting you but it reminded you of a situation where you were hurt. You can try to solve it by speaking about these things with your therapist or close/reflected friends.

I hope this is helpful. I wish you good luck.

I actually ran into something similar recently. To me, the point of accepting the things you cannot change is inevitable. It may hurt in the moment, but so long as you recognize it as something you cannot change it will quickly slip away. It’s in the past already, flowing into the distance on this stream of time.

I think the only issue is figuring out what to recognize as something you cannot change. People run into problems when they refuse to acknowledge something is out of control and chase after it.

I run. Once I get about a mile in, I can think about these kinds of interactions or generally anything stressful without emotion. It’s like thinking in the shower, but I’m channeling negativity toward a healthy activity. It helps a lot.

Try to imagine where they’re coming from, their perspective or situation which could potentially lead to their point of view.